


In the Cards

by homosociallyyours



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: (side) - Freeform, Bluffing, Established Zayn Malik/Liam Payne, Fluff, Tarot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-31
Updated: 2018-05-31
Packaged: 2019-05-16 02:06:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14802296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/homosociallyyours/pseuds/homosociallyyours
Summary: When Zayn has an emergency & needs to leave the metaphysical store he works at, a very clueless Louis must give a not-so-clueless Harry a tarot reading. At least he's got improv skills, right?





	In the Cards

**Author's Note:**

> Based off of jimmytfallon's tags on [this post](http://jimmytfallon.tumblr.com/post/174266246412/slimetony-doing-a-tarot-card-reading-uh-oh), which really made me want to write Louis fumbling through a tarot card reading while Harry quietly judged him. 
> 
> My own tarot knowledge is pretty basic, and I let the Galaxy Tarot app lay out a spread for Harry. It's a great app, and the interpretations that Louis gives are not accurate. Please see notes at the end of the fic for more details on that, if you're curious.

Louis pushed open the door to the shop, the scent of nag champa assaulting his senses immediately. It was the one thing he disliked about stopping in to see Zayn, always leaving with his clothes smelling heavily of incense even if he’d only stayed around for lunch and nothing more. Today he’d prepared for it by stealing one of Zayn’s soft linen shirts instead of wearing one of his own. He knew it might mean he’d get asked about the different energetic properties of rose quartz and smoky quartz, but that didn’t bother him as much as having his clothes smell like they fell out a hippie’s closet. 

Zayn looked up at the sound of the chimes by the doorway, his face souring when he saw what Louis was wearing. “Copping my style, Louis?” 

Louis rolled his eyes as he set a paper bag on the counter between them. “Just trying to save meself the trouble of doing laundry sooner. Your shirts already smell like this place. Anyway, I brought lunch, so you can’t be mad at me.” 

Zayn peeked in the bag reluctantly, raising his eyebrows when he realized what was inside. “You went all the way ‘cross town to get the good sandwiches,” he said, pulling out his own and unwrapping it to take a bite. “You’re mostly forgiven.” Louis took his own sandwich from the bag and grinned, happy his plan had worked. 

“It’s dead in here,” he said, looking around the store. The whole place looked dustier than usual, the DIY spell candle display completely untouched and the display of geodes still in Zayn’s favored artful stacks. 

“Had like, 3 people tops today,” Zayn said, pausing from eating his sandwich. “I just started reading a book on astral projection to get me through the rest of the day.” Zayn tapped the book in front of him. “Swear one day while Dee’s gone I’m just gonna have someone set up secret internet access. Not like she’ll ever know.” 

“I couldn’t survive a workday without a mobile. I’ve googled my way out of more tight spots with customers than I’d care to admit.” Louis pulled his own phone out of his pocket and thumbed it open, checking the signal though he knew there’d be none. 

Zayn shrugged. “We’ve got a good library. And Dee trains everyone well enough to handle whatever comes up. She’d lose it if she ever saw us with working mobiles.” 

The door chimes rang behind them, and Louis turned to see who’d come in, surprised to see Liam. His brow was furrowed and he was looking intently toward Zayn, who’d come out from behind the counter as soon as he’d seen his boyfriend walk in. 

“Babe, what’s wrong?” 

“Don’t freak out,” Liam said, his face absolutely one of someone who was freaking out. “Ellie’s at the vet.” 

Zayn’s eyes grew wide and he crowded forward into Liam. “What happened? Why aren’t you with her?” 

“We were at the park and she was making friends with some people on a blanket. I went over to get her, and while none of us were looking she ate the brownies they had out. I tried to call you on the way, but your phone doesn’t work here.” Liam moved to Zayn’s side and put an arm around him. “I came to get you after the vet induced vomiting. They’re watching her now, but--”

“We have to go now,” Zayn said, moving from Liam’s arms and grabbing his coat and jacket. He turned to Louis, looking at him seriously. “I need you to watch the store, yeah? I can be back in an hour most likely.” 

Louis looked back at him, shaking his head as he tried to respond. “I don’t even know the first thing about crystals and tarot cards and astral protections,” he said, waving his hand toward one of the book displays. “What’ll I do when--”

“Nobody comes in this time of day. But Dee’d kill me if I closed the store. Please, can you just do this? If Ellie doesn’t--” Zayn paused, tears coming to his eyes and Louis stopped him. 

“No, yeah, just go. ‘S not far, right?” 

Liam shook his head and mouthed a quick “thank you” to Louis as he followed Zayn out the door. The chimes rung as they left and Louis looked around at the empty shop. Hopefully it would stay that way. 

By the time a half hour had passed, Louis was feeling more comfortable with his role in the store in spite of not having seen a single customer. He’d looked through the book that Zayn had been reading, made himself a love spell candle at the DIY station, and written a jingle for the shop using the store’s display of windchimes as the background music. He was opening up a pack of tarot cards when the door chimed. 

He looked up, hoping to see Zayn and Liam coming back, maybe with Ellie in tow. Instead, he saw a man who looked to be his own age, with his hair in a messy bun and a serious expression that contrasted with the loud print shirt he was wearing. Louis quickly looked back down, shuffling the tarot cards and hoping they made him look like he knew what he was doing. 

“ ‘Scuse me,” the customer said, the tips of his shoes coming into Louis’ sight. “Is Dee here? I’m afraid it’s kind of important.” 

“Sorry, mate, ‘fraid not,” Louis said with a smirk, not quite looking up to meet the customer’s eyes. He was doing the best impression of Zayn that he could muster, hoping it was enough to make the-- unfortunately very attractive --man come back later. 

“She said she’d be around today,” the customer said with a shrug. “Guess I’ll wait.” 

That. That was something that couldn’t happen. Louis shook his head, the work he’d done in an old improv class in college kicking in. “You could wait,” he said. “Or I could help you. Are you looking for a book on astral prevention? Because this one,” he tapped the book that Zayn had left on the counter, “is just amazing. Really, um,” he clenched his fist for emphasis, “spells it all out for you.” 

The customer cracked a smile, the hint of a dimple making an appearance and catching Louis’ attention. “You should be able to help, actually. ‘M Harry, what’s your name?” 

The man-- Harry --held out his hand and Louis started to respond with his own name, but then thought better of it. “Zayn,” he said, accepting Harry’s handshake. His hands were big, and his handshake was firm, and the sparkle in his eyes made Louis’ breath catch a little. 

“Right Zayn, so I really, really need a tarot reading. Dee was supposed to give me one today, but she’s trained everyone here pretty well, yeah? So I’m sure you could do it.” 

Louis nodded along, hearing himself say, “oh, yeah, absolutely,” when he knew with complete certainty that he could not, in fact, do anything like that. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and started to open google when he remembered that he wouldn’t be able to use it to help him fake his way through the reading. There had to be a way out. “Oh, just remembered that someone is coming by soon to have a reading with me. Can’t have them waiting, can we? Maybe you can come back later, get a nice, unhurried reading done. Sounds good, right?” 

Harry’s smile faded. “I need an answer before 5 o’clock today, this really can’t wait. I hate to do this, but Dee is actually my aunt. Don’t think she’d mind you squeezing me in. I just need a three or four card spread or something similar. Nothin’ too fancy.” 

There was not going to be a way out of this. Louis picked up the cards and shuffled them, looking up when Harry cleared his throat. 

“Don’t you need me to do that?” Harry asked. 

Louis smiled and gave him a wink. “Wanted to make sure you were paying attention. Good catch there, Harry.” He passed the cards to Harry, who looked back at him expectantly. 

“Shouldn’t we go in the back? ‘Swhere Dee usually does readings.” Harry nodded toward the back of the store, and Louis nodded back, hoping that Zayn wouldn’t return and think he’d just fucked off somewhere. Harry must’ve noticed, because he glanced toward the door and then turned to Louis to add, “chime carries back there, and you can jump up here ‘f you need to.” 

“Right. So thoughtful.” Louis sighed, tapping out a rhythm on the counter to calm his nerves. “Lead the way?” Louis let Harry go in front of him, holding aside the beaded curtain that separated the front of the store from the back employees area. As he passed through, he took a chance to admire the view of Harry’s backside, his long legs hugged tight by dark skinnies that also showed off his adorable little bum. Too bad he’d never be able to speak to Harry again after this. 

They sat down, Harry’s ankles brushing against Louis’ under the small table. While Harry concentrated on shuffling, staring intently at the cards as he moved them from hand to hand, Louis looked around the room hoping for any clue he could find about doing a proper tarot reading. Fortunately, there was a large poster on the wall behind Harry’s head that showed a few different basic spreads, and Louis squinted at it, trying to make sure he could see what the placement of the cards was supposed to mean. 

“Done,” Harry said, setting the cards down in the center of the table. Louis reached for them, about to peel them off one at a time, when Harry made a small sound that stopped him. “You’ll cut them?” 

Louis nodded sagely. “ ‘Course,” he said, separating the cards into two stacks. He saw Harry tap his finger and looked up, hand on one of the stacks. Harry met his eyes and raised his eyebrows, and Louis nodded again, making a third pile of cards.

Harry stared at them for a moment and then restacked them before sliding them back to Louis, who picked them up and laid them out one by one, all face down so that he could turn each card over dramatically and do his best to drag out the interpretation in the hopes that committing would make his act a bit more believable. 

“Right, so the first card,” Louis said as he flipped it over. “Looks like the-- ah, 9 of swords.” He glanced at the poster behind Harry. “Interesting. Yes. Let me think,” Louis said, stroking his chin. “The situation is a lot like a nightmare. Maybe feels a bit like you’ve got...swords everywhere.” 

“It’s definitely a nightmare,” Harry said, shaking his head. “Tell me more about the swords? What’s the 9 of swords specifically?” 

“Oh, it’s obviously a lot of points. Arguments. Very dangerous. Scary.” Louis stared down at the card, wishing it just said whatever it meant right there on the face. “Pretty bad, any way you look at it.” 

Harry seemed satisfied with that answer, so Louis flipped over the next card, trying to ignore it when Harry gasped quietly. 

“This one is the challenge you face,” Louis said, reading from the poster again. This card was even harder to decipher than the last, but it did have the name written on it clearly. “The World. Yeah, you’re really facing a massive challenge. Feels like the whole world is against you and you’re sort of floating alone in the middle of it. With a couple of arrows and nothing to shoot them from.” 

“Is that the reverse meaning?” Harry asked, chewing his lip and staring back at Louis. 

The card was upside down as it faced Louis, so he guessed that was what Harry meant by reverse. “Yeah, yeah, to’ally,” Louis said, nodding his head. “Like your whole world is upside down.” 

“Hm.” Harry rested his chin on his hand and gave a small nod. “Need to see what comes next.”

Louis flipped the next card and was happy when it was upright. “So, advice. King of Cups. If you want to fix your world you’ll need to put yourself on a throne and lead.” Louis nodded along with himself as he spoke, because it seemed like good general advice that he was giving. “Make your own decisions, don’t take shit from people.” 

“What’s the reverse for that one? Know it’s not in the reading, but I’m curious what the advice would be if it was flipped.” 

“Yeah, the reverse, let’s see what that would be.” Louis looked down at the card hoping for clues. “The King is on water, right? So if he’s upside down, he’s under water. Not leading.” Louis tapped the card, wishing it would start talking for him. “The advice if it was reversed would be to stay back and follow and make sure you don’t drown. Can’t fight the sword nightmare if you’re drowning.” 

Harry shrugged, tipping his head to the side, and Louis smiled with relief that he’d bought it. Just one more card to go and this would be over. Harry would leave and Zayn would come back and everything would be fine. 

“Last card,” Louis said, flipping over the final card in the spread. “Outcome.” The card was the Four of Cups, and it was upside down. Louis winced. “Hm, outcome doesn’t look great there. ‘Supside down, and you’ve got a cloud trying to hand you a cup but you’re under a tree not interested.”

Harry inhaled sharply and Louis looked up and caught his eye. “Sorry for the bad outcome,” Louis said. “Not much I can do about it, mate.” 

The sound of the door chime took both of them by surprise, and Harry sprang up before Louis, bumping his knee on the table and cursing quietly. Louis wanted to check in with him, but he heard Zayn and Liam’s voices and rushed out quickly instead, leaving Harry rubbing at his knee. 

Zayn was holding Ellie in his arms, her compact body pressed against him and her tongue lolling from her mouth as she panted. He was staring down at her, talking baby talk, when she spotted Louis and her tail began to thump against Zayn’s side. “Look Elzie Belzie, it’s Uncle Lo--” 

Louis shook his head and put a finger to his lips, cutting Zayn off. “Ok, a guy’s about to come out and I’m Zayn and you’re Louis, just go with it,” he whispered. Behind him, Harry parted the beaded curtain and stepped out, looking at everyone in the shop curiously. 

“Harry, these are my friends Liam and Louis, and this is Ellie. She had a chocolate scare, and they wanted to bring her over to see her Uncle Zayn,” Louis said, scratching under Ellie’s chin. Harry went to her immediately, holding out his hand to let her sniff and laughing when she licked his knuckles. 

“That’s so awful,” he said, looking at Ellie instead of up at Zayn or Liam. “Poor thing. It’s good you found her and got her sorted in time.” 

“D’you mind if that’s the end of the reading, then?” Louis asked. “Or do you want me to go say a bit more about the cup and the cloud?” Zayn whipped his head toward Louis and stared at him. 

“Did we interrupt a reading, Zayn? Hope all the tarot studying you’ve done paid off. You’ve been doing practice readings for months now.” Zayn’s voice was quiet but sharp, and Louis tried to smile back at him as brightly as he could. 

“Let’s ask Harry here how I did,” Louis said, turning to Harry, who slowly lowered his hand from Ellie’s chin. 

“About that,” Harry said hesitantly, “I really hate to say this Zayn, but it didn’t go well. ‘M afraid I wasn’t totally honest with you. My aunt didn’t want me to meet her for a reading. She sent me in to test you, and you did pretty badly.” He grimaced as he reached out and patted Louis’ shoulder. “You’re not fired or anythin’, but she might put you on probation or have you redo the introductory tarot course. ‘M sorry.” 

“Really, Louis? C’mon,” Zayn whined. Ellie wiggled in his arms and Liam reached out to take her. 

“Wait, you’re Louis,” Harry said, looking at Zayn. 

“He’s actually Zayn,” Louis said. “And I’m his friend, who happened to be standing here when Liam came in to tell us about Ellie.” 

“So you left the shop and let your friend stay on to pretend to be you?” 

“Never told him to pretend to be me. Figured he’d at least be himself if he had to talk to anyone,” Zayn said. 

Louis gave Zayn a light punch in the arm. “Your boss’ cute nephew comes into the shop demanding a tarot reading and I’m supposed to tell him you’re off taking care of your sick dog and left me in charge? I don’t even know my own astrological sign! I thought it’d be worse if Dee found out you were gone.” 

“You’re a Capricorn. Like Zayn,” Liam said, causing both Louis and Zayn to turn and give him a scornful look. 

Harry laughed. “Ohhh, I was wondering why my aunt had hired someone who called astral projection ‘astral prevention’ after almost six months of working here. I feel so much better about everythin’.” He turned to Zayn and gave him a sympathetic look. “I’d love to get a tarot reading from you, if you don’t mind. She likes it to be secretive for whatever reason, but ‘m kind of good with tarot, so she trusts me to evaluate everyone before they can start taking on regular customers for readings.” 

“Wait, you’re good at tarot readings? And you let me sit there and talk about people with swords and cups like that?” Louis narrowed his eyes at Harry, trying to look mad but failing when Harry laughed at him, his dimple coming out in full force. 

“You did ok on the first one, but by the second card I could tell you were really just trying to describe the pictures to get the meaning. ‘S not the worst way to prompt yourself, but it doesn’t actually work if you don’t know anything else.” Harry shrugged, looking down at his feet for a moment and then back up at Louis. “Anyway ‘m not mad. You were pretty cute, trying to read over my shoulder and make it look like you were just thinking hard. I didn’t mind too much.” 

“Thought I was cute, did ya?” Louis asked, raising his eyebrows suggestively. 

Harry nodded, a pleased smile on his face, and Zayn cleared his throat a little too loudly. “We’ve already had one member of our family vomiting today,” he said, letting Ellie snuffle against his wrist. “Can we not make me the second?” 

“Sorry,” Harry said sheepishly. “How about you do my reading, and um, then Louis, if you’re free, I could take you to the chippy down the street? ‘S m’favorite one.” 

“That’s definitely in the cards,” Louis said, almost regretting the pun until Harry burst into giggles and Zayn groaned loudly. 

Zayn’s reading went well, Harry nodding along with his thorough and intuitive interpretations of the cards as Louis and Liam sat on the floor up front, taking turns snuggling a tired Ellie between them. When Zayn flipped over the last card and saw The Lovers, he looked up at Harry and rolled his eyes, gesturing toward Louis. “Pretty sure the outcome is waiting for you now. Whenever you’re ready.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! If you'd like to reblog the fic post it's [here](https://tmblr.co/Z0sn1v2YSEAce), and you're also welcome to [come say hi](http://homosociallyyours.tumblr.com) on tumblr.
> 
> Now, some footnotes! 
> 
> First of all, I had 2 specific stores in mind when I was writing this, one being the Sacred Well in Oakland and New Moon Gallery in Chattanooga. Neither is open anymore, which is sad. 
> 
> If you're wondering what Harry's question was about, it was a general question about his love life. Mostly because he was looking at Louis and that was what came to mind (and thus, directed the cards), but also because he really has been thinking about it. 
> 
> Onto the reading! Louis' interpretation of the first card is pretty right on--Harry has had a few vivid anxiety dreams about being single, and it's not great. The challenge card (The World, reversed) refers to feeling overwhelmed and holding too tightly to the past. And yeah, Harry has been thinking about his most recent relationship and breakup and letting it drag him down. The advice card (King of Cups) is basically a reminder for Harry to be true to himself and to pay attention to what he's feeling. It could also point him toward someone he generally gets advice from and nudge him to listen to them, but I'd tend toward the first meaning. 
> 
> HOWEVER at this point, Harry is thinking that the reading he's getting is pretty bad, and that there's no way he's gonna be able to ask this guy out, though he'd really like to. Which means that the outcome (4 of cups, reversed) is pretty rough. Harry's interpretation would be that he's unable to accept the possibility in front of him and remains stuck at the edge of change, unable to move forward. 
> 
> Of course, once he realizes that Louis isn't actually working for his aunt and the stress of needing to give him criticism passes, the clouds part and his second reading with Zayn ends with the Lovers-- head and heart united! Passion! Good times. 
> 
> That was probably more than you wanted, but there it is anyway. Once again, thanks for reading!


End file.
